Irrational
by luluhrh
Summary: One-shot. Winry thinks Ed loves Rose. After all, he dropped everything to go to Liore and help with the rebuilding process. Still, everyone else? They know who Ed REALLY loves. Winry's just being irrational. Rated T for some bad language from Ed (who else?) and for a small sexual reference that you could miss if you blink. EdWin. Love ya! lulu


**Allow me to point out that this is totally off the top of my head. Hey, what can I say? I was bored. It happens. Anywho, YOU BETTER ENJOY THIS OR ELSE!**

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**Just kidding!**

**Disclaimer:** **. . . Just you wait. It will be mine one day!**

**Hiromu Arakawa: No it won't.**

**Me: . . . It won't be mine one day!**

**Okay, now READ! XD**

I sat down on the cold floor, throat sore. Tired. . . that's what I was. So very tired. . . it was all I could do to keep my head of the ground. I couldn't stay like this, all alone. Abandoned. Not needed, never needed by the people I wanted to need me most of all.

Oh, my throat burned. . . I shouldn't have screamed. They enjoyed my pain, my anger and anguish, my terror. Why did I scream? They just laughed at me.

"He'll never come, sweetheart. You know it. You'll be stuck here forever."

Laughter. Cold and harsh, scraping against my ears.

"Why both screaming? No one can hear you. It's pointless."

Laughter. Harder than the cold stone floor I was dumped on.

"Pretty girl, but too much much of a gearhead for any boy to pay attention to."

Laughter. Screechy, like the sound the iron bars made when they slammed the cell door.

"He doesn't love you."

Laughter. At me, always at me, because they somehow knew exactly what to say to hurt me.

"_No one loves you._"

Laughter. And the worst part was, they were right.

"_Who could possibly love a machine geek like you?_"

Nobody. That's who.

It was too much. To be here in the dark, in the cold, without someone else. Anyone besides them would be a blessing.

There was one person I wished it could be. . . but no, he wasn't for me, was he? He had that _other _girl, from Liore. Rose. He loved her, he had to. Why else would he leave?

He didn't love his mechanic. He didn't need his mechanic unless his automail broke. He didn't even know how much his mechanic needed him. God, his mechanic needed him more than anything. I needed him. More than I needed my automail, for what would I do with it if I didn't have him to give it to, to help him move forward? More than I needed my wrench, for what use was a wrench if I couldn't throw it at him or use it to work on his automail? Without him, what was the point?

I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I could do neither. My throat wouldn't allow it.

So I didn't. I curled up and spoke no more.

_(he doesn't pay attention to any girl but her, that much is true.)_

I was with him, but he wasn't with me.

It was so clear in the way he zoned out, the way he stared into the distance, looking for someone who wasn't there. Who was he searching for? Who did he yearn for?

Not me. I was right there beside him, waiting for him to see me and notice me, ready to be his, but he wasn't looking at me.

He had come to help us rebuild Liore. He had sounded eager to on the phone, and at first he worked harder than anyone else. Now, though. . . he was always looking for someone. He whispered her name at night, when he was dreaming, when I stood at the door and watched him sleep. He looked so beautiful while he slept, when he'd screw up his perfect face and whisper her name in longing.

I loved him. I thought he came back because he loved me, too.

But no, he loved her. His mechanic. Winry. He loved the oil-stained girl who let him get up on his own two feet and walk forward. Not me. Not a girl who lost the man she loved and needed someone to hold her hand. I needed _him_.

I needed him, but what good was need? What could I give him that his mechanic hadn't already given? She gave him the ability to keep moving. She gave him the ability to shape his own future. She gave him a place to come home to. She gave him her heart. I was sure she loved him back, because who wouldn't?

What did I have to offer?

Nothing.

So I just watched him sleep, relishing the moments when I could have him, even if he wasn't really mine at all.

_(he doesn't notice any girl but her, or so they think.)_

Brother. . . he made Winry cry again. I don't know how, but he did.

I saw her after he left. She curled up on her bed, sniffling and gathering the bedspread in her clenched fists. Low wails and high keening sounds. Winry was sobbing.

I didn't stay to watch.

Brother had gone to help build Liore because Rose asked him to. It was nice of him to do, but Winry thought he was doing it for Rose.

She left the next day for Rush Valley, before I could ask if she was jealous. Now, I'm pretty sure she was.

I think Brother loves her. Winry. Not Rose. Winry got him back on his feet. She was determined to do her best so that he could do his best. Rose is pretty and kind, and I'm sure Brother likes her, but he loves Winry. At least, I think he does.

But what do I know? Nothing. I know absolutely nothing. Brother would talk about anything with me, but not girls. What use were girls when it came to getting our bodies back? Well, besides Winry.

And back to my point: Brother loves Winry. He needs her and she needs him. He helps her and she helps him. It's equivalent, and my brother is all about equivalency.

Besides, Winry's pretty. Nobody can deny it. She's a lovely young women, and I've seen how Brother looks at most of her beaus. He's jealous.

Winry turns them all down, though.

I think she might like Brother, too.

Just then, the phone rang.

I ran to get it, pleased to not have to hear the clanking sounds my body made when it moved anymore. Brother is a genius. I still can't believe he got my body back.

"Hello, this is the Elric residence," I said cordially.

"Ooh, Alphonse, is that you?" a familiar voice crooned.

"Mr. Garfiel?" I asked in confusion. "Hi. This is unexpected."

"Indeed. Anyway, I just wanted to ask you if you knew where Winry was? She said she'd be here yesterday, but she still hasn't come."

A cold feeling encircled my chest. "That's. . . no. She left three days ago, she should be there by now."

"Well, she's not here."

There was ice in my heart, cracking, cooling the warm muscle. _This is bad._

"Mr. Garfiel," I said as I strongly as possible, "I'm going to figure out what's going on."

"Oh, thank you, Alphonse! Please do; Winry's customers are starting to get a bit. . . pushy."

I nodded, even though I knew that the man couldn't see me. "Don't worry. I promise I'll get on this as soon as possible."

_(he only truly knows her, out of all the girls he's met.)_

I didn't know what came over me. All I knew was that something was wrong, and if I didn't fix it soon, my world would collapse.

The nightmares. . . while I was gone from her side, they increased. I had to sleep, but it hurt to sleep, and it hurt to wake up and not be able to make sure that she was okay. She was far away, alone. Not helpless by a long shot, not with her wrench in hand. . . but what if said wrench was taken away? Could she really hold her own? Or would she be overcome?

Nightmares destroyed sanity. Mine was slowly crumbling. I had to get back to her.

How could she possibly think I could love anyone but her? Stupid gearhead. . . she's an idiot. She's the completely idiotic mechanic who I love.

I'm an idiot. I let her think that someone else would make me feel the way that only she can make me feel. How could I let her believe that?

We're both idiots.

But for some reason that I couldn't fathom, I felt like she was an idiot who was in trouble. And I was the idiot who had to save her.

I didn't want to leave Liore, not when they were just getting back on their feet. I had grown close to the people there. I didn't want to leave them alone when they were so vulnerable. I didn't want to let them fall.

But. . . she was important, too. More important than an entire city? In the grand scheme of things, no. She was just One part of the gigantic All. If she ceased to exist, the world would go on. . . but I wouldn't, because in my world, she was the All. One is All and All is One. Her. Winry. She was my Universe, and without the All, there was no One.

I wasn't stupid. (An idiot, surely, but definitely not stupid.) I knew how Rose looked at me. She was my friend, but I didn't feel the same way. I felt awful for it, but I knew it all along. I came to help a friend, not a lover.

I'd made my decision. Liore was important to me, but Winry was more important. I had to find her and make sure she was safe.

I was getting my jacket when the phone rang. I ran over to it immediately.

"Winry?" I asked hopefully.

"No, Brother, it's me," Al's voice replied.

I felt myself wilt dejectedly. "Oh. Hey, Al."

"It's about Winry."

I perked up. "What is it? What's wrong, Al?"

A pause. Then, "How did you know something was wrong, Brother?"

I frowned. "I'm not sure. Just. . . a feeling. I'm worried." Then Al's words hit me. "Wait, something _is_ wrong? What happened?"

Al sighed. "I don't know. Mr. Garfiel called and said that Winry was supposed to arrive at his shop yesterday, but she wasn't there. She left three days ago, Brother. She should be there already!"

My heart was racing. Winry. . . Winry was. . .

"Al, get on a train."

"Brother-"

"Do it, Al. We're going to find Winry."

"But Brother, what about Liore?"

"Liore will be here when I get back. Winry might not have much time. We have to find her, Al! What if she's in trouble?"

"I know, it's just-"

"Al." I waited a moment before continuing. "Al, we need to find her. I have to apologize to her. I need to. . . tell her something. And. . . I can't let her cry, Al. Not again. Not if I have the power to stop it from happening."

For a moment, there was silence between the two of us. Then:

"I'll buy a ticket as soon as possible."

I let out a breath I hadn't even known I was holding in. "Thank you, Al."

"Of course, Ed. We're family- you, me, and Winry, too. We can't let anything bad happen to her."

I grinned. "'Course not! Let's do it!"

"I'll be right behind you, Brother."

_(two fists- one an empty leather glove, the other wire-filled metal- bump together.)_

_(memories like those transcend time and space.)_

I knew he was coming. The Fullmetal Alchemist. I had his childhood friend, who I knew he loved, in my grasp. I wanted to fight him. This great, all-powerful alchemist. . . who became a State Alchemist as a mere twelve-year-old, beating me out for the same spot when I was sixteen. . . I could have been great. Then _he_ came along, a _prodigy_ who I had absolutely _nothing_ on. Clapping his hands and transmuting something. . . it should have been impossible, yet he did it.

I could beat him. If his girl's life was in danger, I could take him out using distraction. A win's a win, no matter how dirty a trick is pulled. Beating him would be cake. He wasn't even that good, after all. He was only a kid. He couldn't be that good.

_(two hands come together in a familiar motion.)_

Wheels rattle against the tracks. The pounding of my heart is louder. The people on the train must be going deaf.

Al and I will get you, Winry. There's no "maybe" about it.

_(he still has alchemy.)_

Racing against the clock. That's what I'm doing. But Brother and I can do this. We _will_ find Winry.

We have to.

_(he can win.)_

He's gone. He left Liore half an hour ago. All he said was that he was going to find someone. I know who it is. I can tell by the look on his face.

Winry is nice. I like her. I hope she's okay.

And she better know how lucky she really is. . .

_(he'd better win.)_

It's still so cold. . .

He won't come. They told me he wouldn't come. He doesn't care about me. He has Rose.

I know he won't come. I know.

So why. . .

_(if he doesn't win, he can say goodbye. . .)_

Why do I still believe he'll come to me? Why do I still think he cares?

I'm so hopeless.

They're still laughing.

_(people are crazy when it comes to proving themselves.)_

A few days later, the station master in Kadayr***** nodded fervently. "Oh, yeah, I saw that girl! She got off and went over to get some food. Then this guy came up to her and started talking a mile a minute! I could hear from over here. He was saying stuff like, "Wow, you're Winry Rockbell! You're amazing! And you're friends with Edward Elric!" He frowned. "Somehow, he managed to herd her away. She looked really confused, like she wasn't sure who this guy was or why he was talking to her. I'm not sure if she even realized she was being led away."

I gave him a grateful handshake. "Thank you so much."

"No problem."

As we walked away, Brother and I exchanged meaningful glances.

"They only just caught her," I muttered.

Brother nodded. "I know." Then he turned and looked at the street that the station master had said Winry had gone down. His expression turned dark. "That bastard is going to pay for what he's done."

I raised my hands in a placating gesture. "Brother, we don't know what he's done yet."

"Of course we do. He made me worry about her, and that in itself is a problem. I always need to know that she's okay. The fact that I'm worried that she isn't okay is already a crime."

I was taken aback, but then I smiled.

Brother loves Winry. I was right.

"Well, let's get going then, Al!"

I nodded. "I'm right behind you, Brother."

_(he's crazy when it comes to protecting those he cares about.)_

It had been days since I was caught and put into this place. Days. . . or weeks. . . or years. . . who kept count, anyway? It all blended together into what I called, "The Amount of Time That the Man I Love has Left Me Here To Rot For."

Catchy.

I started losing my sanity somewhere between a century and a millenium. All around me were the jeers of drunken men, taunting me. Some offered to let me out if I did obscene things to them. The catcalls made me sick. It all made me sick.

_How could you leave me here, Ed?_

Most coherent thought had left me, so this one clear notion captivated my mind. He left me here. Why? How could he? Did I really mean this little to him? Was I honestly just a mechanic to him? Did he not care at all? Was it-

"WINRY!"

A familiar voice.

A voice I trusted.

A voice I thought I'd never hear again.

A voice that I thought had left me for dead.

His voice. . .

"Ed?" I croaked out, my voice weak and scratchy from disuse. "Ed? Is that you?"

"Al! Get her out of there!"

"Okay, Brother!"

A clanking noise, followed by the scrape of the cell door. Soft, warm hands grip my wrists. It's still dark. . .

"Open your eyes, Winry," Al whispers.

I didn't know my eyes were closed. I open them to find a pair of molten gold, slightly darker than his brothers, and a halo of dark golden hair.

"Al," I murmur, feeling the heat of tears.

"Come on, while Ed has that creep occupied."

I nod, numb with relief. _He came. He really came. Both of them came. They care. They really care. . ._

I am out of the cell, being supported as I stumble away from captivity. A bunch of knocked out drunkards litter the floor, telltale bootprints on their clothes and faces. A few are sporting broken noses.

"You came," I whisper.

"Of course we came. You didn't think we wouldn't find you, did you?"

It's not Al who said that.

I turn my head. Sapphire meets aurum, and I am in his arms, crying, begging him to be real, because if he isn't, if this is just a dream, I'll-

"It's not a dream, Win. I'm here. I'm really here."

_(sky and sun belong together.)_

She's okay. She's okay. She's okay.

_She's okay._

I softly kiss the forehead of the sleeping girl whose head rests on my shoulder. The guy who kidnapped her was weak. He underestimated my power- and my anger. He was stupid.

Anyone who touches Winry and expects to be able to take me out easy without getting retribution is really, really stupid.

"I love you," I whisper to her softly.

A sky blue eye cracks open, meeting my sun-colored orbs. She smiles.

"I love you too, Ed."

_(they belong to one another. there was never any reason to be jealous.)_

**OMG I LOVED THIS SO MUCH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! XD**

**Yeah, I liked this.**

**So! Peeps! RFF before I explode, okay?**

**The word of the day is NURTURE! Yeah, it is. Like how Winry will be to the EdWin children. . . OMG EDWIN!**

**I'm in a mood for fangirling for some reason. Earlier I wanted to kill my bed, and now I want to fangirl. Damn you, moodswing hormone crap!**

**Okay then.**

**Love ya! lulu**


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